A Matter Of Self-Esteem!

Author: Georgia Mariakaki –

Self-esteem is built at an early age, mainly through the relationships the child has with his parents, peers and “important others”.

The term “self-esteem” refers to thoughts, beliefs, expectations, feelings, etc. that we have for ourselves. In other words, it has to do with what we think we are, what we can succeed in, what others think about us.

The low self-esteem can be expressed through continuous negative self-criticism and doubts, difficulty in decision-making, adaption of our opinion to the opinion of others, avoidance of “difficult” situations, pathological relationships, lack of assertive behavior etc. On the other hand, a person with a healthy self-esteem has a positive attitude towards life, himself, his mistakes and difficulties. He makes decisions, asserts his rights and set goals with confidence.

Self-esteem is built at an early age, mainly through the relationships the child has with his parents, peers and “important others”. Parents, who reject their child, do not reward it, they are indifferent and / or they do not accept it as it really is, contribute to the creation of a poor background that will determine the child’s later life. They will determine his behavior, relationships with other people, and ultimately his happiness.

It does not mean that a person has the same “low self-esteem” in all areas of his life, though. For example, one may have “low self-esteem” in love relations, but feel confident in the professional sector. Very often, the “lack of self-confidence” in one field (in relationships) can lead the person to “over-acting” in another field (in career hunting), in an effort to “over-replenish” the feeling of insecurity in the particular area.

Today, many of us base our self-esteem on our successes. However, this type of self-esteem is in fact a “pseudo-appreciation”. True self-esteem is based on our personal sense of self-respect, which we have or have not acquired during our childhood, and which cannot be based on appearance, talent, professional success, social status, money, etc. This theory is also confirmed by the fact that many celebrities with lots of money and people who achieved a lot in their lives do not have a good relationship with themselves, and many of them are so depressed to the point of committing suicide, such as Marilyn Monroe, Robin Williams, and so on.

However, it is never too late to treat our wounded self-esteem. This is something we can achieve through psychotherapy, which gives us “corrective experiences” upon the negative experiences of the past, helping us with this way to improve our emotional deficiencies from which we suffer and which they are not our fault. Psychotherapy can help us break free of the stress, sadness and pathology that “low self-esteem” causes us, and significantly improve the level of our lives. What we need is to find the courage to take this step.

Georgia Mariakaki

Clinical Psychologist-Psychotherapist


Translation: Sotia Bella

Για την μετάφραση των άρθρων σας παρακαλώ συμπληρώστε την φόρμα επικοινωνίας αναφέροντας τον τίτλο και την κατηγορία στην οποία θέλετε να δημοσιεύσετε το υλικό σας.