Author: Denise Vevzioglou –
The pursuit of perfection and ideal life does not leave any room for self-improvement and acceptance of different things.
In our everyday life, we probably see many related articles about perfect behaviors or perfect people. It is written in the ancient Greek, in scientific texts with various references, or simply written in our spoken language. All these articles try to make the reader to understand that THE PERFECT MAN does not exist.
It is not so hard for someone to believe it, if he asks the following questions to himself: Am I Perfect? Do I do everything right in my life? Do I always behave according to the rules of perfection in my family? To my children? To my friends? To my colleagues? Are all of my decisions and actions accompanied by praise and success? Have I ever not regretted for a decision in my life?
There are remote possibilities for someone to answer positively the above answers. Ideally, such a scenario sounds fantastic. The plain truth is that, even if we choose to dedicate our whole life to the altar of perfection, we will never be able to become perfect for others. After all, how could we be perfect, living on a planet with billions of different people, cultures, attitudes, customs, religions and a variety of personalities?
Although there are all these articles and information, I am still surprised at how often the term of perfection oppresses people; how much they are afraid to express themselves in order to avoid criticism and misunderstanding. How unwisely but necessarily they wear the mask of perfection, without any human problems or worries. At the same time, inside them they fight an endless battle to survive from all these conditions. An endless passion for everything to be right, to be desirable by all the people around us, our opinion to be accepted and not to be judged and criticized by anyone.
We sacrifice our inner peace, knowledge and cultivation, which will be the main means that will make us happy under any condition. It will be our permanent joy and success. The matter with the judgment is that no matter what you do or what not, there will always be someone who will judge you. Many people, they do not know themselves at all and they have no desire to cultivate their personality. They do not know their needs and desires. That’s why they choose to judge. They judge what they do not know, what they do not understand, what they do not like, what they are jealous of, what they want to have but they cannot. The pursuit of perfection and idealism leaves no room for self-improvement, and acceptance of the different.
If I live on the basis of what others want or impose on me, I will stop living my own life that I fully own, and start living the life expectations, influences, needs and desires of others. The key is self-dependence. It’s okay if you want to cry in the restaurant because something is worrying you or you just got a little bit worried about something. It’s okay if you want to take off your shoes and walk barefoot in the street, it’s ok if you do not want to have a family or if you want to go to the movies on your own. It’s okay to get a divorce from a man/woman that everyone thinks they are the good guy, but who does not please you and does not complement as a personality.
The thought of “what people will say” is just a dysfunctional thought that will probably hurt you and won’t benefit you. As long as you respect yourself and those around you and take responsibility for your choices, you can simply be not perfect. Let’s just be a human being with his psychological ups and downs, who cries and laughs, who the one day conquers the world and the next day is in a bad mood and don’t want to see anyone. You can find similar personalities around the world that you can identify with, but you have something that no other person has…
Your unique temperament and value system!
Denise Vevzioglou, Psychologist
Translation: S. Bella